Today I got up at seriously stupid o’clock – for me there is silly o’clock, stupid o’clock and seriously stupid o’clock depending upon the actual time I get up or go to sleep – and I sat doing my 5am meditation. But I didn’t feel happy. By the way – this shocked my girlfriends this morning when I texted them to say “Morning” (I left out the “good” so they knew something was up!).
I didn’t feel sad or anything, but I just wasn’t feeling my usual “happy” and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I sat there in easy pose (legs crossed like in school hall assemblies) and I was going into overdrive over why the heck did I not feel happy. I was driving myself insane which is the exact opposite of the purpose of meditation. So 11 minutes later of half-assed breathing and mantra chanting – a form of Kundalini Yoga – and I felt less happier than I did when I first began!
Seriously! What is going on??!!
I began to run through my day ahead and apart from it being a Monday, I couldn’t see the cause for my unhappiness.
So I recalled my weekend and I couldn’t see anything there either! I had a seriously great weekend! I embraced my new life as a blogger – I can’t believe it is only day 4 of my journey – already I feel like I’m ‘home’, and I had great fun on Twitter taking part in twitter chats. I spoke with some brilliant bloggers, had lots of giggles. I did a kick-boxing workout, I read some of a book I’m currently reading, I went for a walk, I caught up with those I love- there was plenty to be happy about.
But I wasn’t feeling it.
Before I began to feel like a seriously ungrateful fraud of a woman writing a blog on happiness I stopped. I told myself to W.A.I.T. This is a method I learnt from the Queen Spirit Junkie herself; Gabby Bernstein whose work & books I LUURRVE!!
Gabby tells us that W.A.I.T is an acronym for Why Am I Talking? But like I usually do to make myself happy I adapted it to; What Am I Thinking???
I then remembered that there was nothing out there in the world – not twitter, not my blog, not my walk, not my kick-boxing class, not my family + friends that can make me happy.
Happiness is a choice. And I make the choices in my life. Therefore; Happiness is a choice I make (another teaching from Gabby Bernstein).
I had woken up and I had forgotten to make the choice to be happy. I had allowed myself to get drawn into life as we all do, and i’d forgotten to make one simple decision for my day. I’d remembered my to-do list for work, I’d remembered my meditation, and I’d remembered my weekend. But I had forgotten my steps to self-care.
So, if you find yourself feeling out of whack, grumpy, angry even, or just a little sad.
Ask yourself; W. A. I.T
What Am I Thinking? and then check in with yourself to see if you have made “Happiness Your Choice”.
Thank you for stopping by, + I hope this has served you today,
Please feel free to pass it along to someone you know + love + care about if you feel it will help them.
Speak really soon,
Little Miss Sunshine